Sensual Healing

I can hear my friend now saying gleefully, hands clasped to her chest excitedly, "I LOVE sex!" We were attending a workshop on domestic violence. I smile now when I try to remember what in the world did sex have to do with domestic violence. Still, I appreciate my friend's position on sex (no pun intended but I like). My sisterfriend knows the importance and power of great sex. If you don't know, I'ma tell you...I'm working on a second book titled Why Did He Break Up With Me? Earlier this year, while between relationships, one Sunday I was headed home from SEC (that's where I worship, the Spiritual Empowerment Center) to write. But for some reason, the writing juices just weren't flowing. I called my sisterfriend, yeah, the same one, as I strolled through Charles Village. She's also a writer, so I knew she'd understand. I told her how stuck I was feeling, and that I needed to write but another part of me wanted something else. I knew what I was craving, some male attention. But as they say, the main cause of suffering is forgetfulness. Well, it had been awhile since I'd been up close and personal with a man and had forgotten how much a man's energy pumps me up. My friend lit up. I was dancing awfully close to one of her favorite topics, sex. Of course she had lots to say about it. She helped me remember how our creativity and sexual selves are intimately linked. Lack of sex, we agreed, was one reason so many women are stuck, uptight, er, just plain unhappy. Simply put, they ain't gettin' enough. They aren't getting enough love, touch, attention, or sex.

I relented. I'll admit, it didn't take much. Once off the phone, I dialed the ten digits of a hunk I know. He was available. He came a running. I had been enjoying an outdoor festival alone but alone wasn't what I wanted to be. My guy friend came. He told me how sexy I was. He bought me an orchid. We went around the corner to a Chinese restaurant where we had sushi. Later, back at the festival, I sat on his lap and let him kiss my neck, hold me, and tell me how beautiful I am.

I didn't need sex. What the woman in me needed was some male attention, some tender touch, some sweet talking, some adoration. That got my writing juices going. Did I write like a mad woman that evening? Actually I don't recall. But what I do remember is how whole and balanced and energized I felt. Rather than sexual healing I got myself some sensual healing. That is, my guy friend helped to balance me. My yin (receptive, passive, feminine self) and yang (masculine, active energy) could now get something done, like write.

If you know anything about chakras, those seven energy centers that everyone has, then you know the 2nd chakra, which in Sanskrit is called "Svadhisthana," means "dwelling place of the Self." The 2nd chakra is located in the lower abdomen, about an inch below the navel. The 2nd chakra is associated with creativity and procreation. It also governs emotional and sensual aspects of our lives. Passion is the emotion that's associated with the 2nd chakra. Signs that this chakra is blocked are fear of pleasure, being out of touch with one's feelings and resistance to change. That is, we're stuck.

You don't have to have sex to recharge. Just let (and I do mean let because men are waiting) somebody help you remember how desirable and delectable you are. It'll do you and your creativity a world of good.