A friend told my guy, "I'd rather be married and miserable than single and miserable." "Huh!" I said to him in disbelief, because to look at our friend one might never have known how miserable she was nor limited she considered little of her possibilities. Where is a woman's self-esteem and faith when the only two options she can imagine for her love life both involve being miserable? In the toilet, wouldn't you say.
Life is abundant. There are no shortages, limitations or lack in the universe. All lack exist in our heads only. Our external surroundings, that is, our life, reflect our beliefs, which are but well entrenched thoughts.
Oh, but it's not only sisters who have given up on love. Last night I ran into a neighbor, a guy, in Walmart. As we were about to part I asked, "Are you in a relationship now?" As his smile turned into a frown he growled, "No, I don't have time for the..." You fill in the blank. He went on to say he couldn't find a good woman, that there aren't any good women "out there." It didn't take long for me to read him: He's angry, bitter and afraid. I could very well be wrong but I sensed that the women he wants don't want him, and he's not happy about that. And a long time ago some woman broke his heart. But that's no reason to trash ALL women, now is it? Just like one bad apple don't spoil the whole barrel, right. Here's the skinny on love and attraction. We attract who we are. If I'm resentful and bitter guess who I will attract? People who are like me, people who will prove me right. Get M.A.D. Get Mastery, Authority and Dominion over your thoughts. Study, to use one of my dad's words, only what you wish to create. Also, clean your act up by forgiving yourself and others. Then stand back and marvel at your new life. Everything you deeply desire is possible for you...if you but believe.
What limiting beliefs are keeping you repeating destructive patterns? And are you willing to let them go?
The thing I have noticed is that people have forgotten that a relationship starts with a friendship. If u build a house with no foundation it will fall apart
ReplyDeleteSo true. I was once that woman...until recently. The man I'm with today was my friend first. We didn't even see each other as lovers two years ago. Then he went to Africa. I happened to call him while he was there. He said, "Baby, when I get home let's go out!" He calls every woman baby.lol. Anyway, we went out and fell in love. It's friendship when you like your partner...not just "love" him.
ReplyDeleteLook at your mate. Look in the mirror. What do you see at both places? A reflection of YOU!
ReplyDeleteAnd realize, we ALWAYS get that which we focus on. The Law of Attraction is just that...its a law. No way around it. So to apply the words of "jujumama," learn to "stay and play," because believe it or not, you will see the same situation over and over, until YOU decide to heal it. And it all starts with FORGIVENESS.
Good post DeBora! Keep it going.
I like jujumama's way of putting it, "stay and play." So many people think jumping ship is the answer when things get in sticky and hairy in the relationship. But it's like A Course in Miracles says, relationships are assignments/workshops. We're in them to learn, grow, and expand.
ReplyDeleteWell, I have been both...married and miserable and single and miserable...until I finally got it that nothing was making me miserable in either situation except my thoughts and feelings about it. When I stopped blaming my husband for "making me miserable" and started taking responsibility for my own happiness...I came to embrace unconditional love...for myself and for him. When I did that, there came a time for us to release each other, with love, and move on. As a matter of fact I just had a wonderful conversation with him via skype and we both agreed we're much better friends now than we ever were when married. I'm still single, he's married and happy and I'm happy for him.
ReplyDeleteI had started getting myself back into the "being miserable" phase of the single life. I moaned and groaned..."nobody wants me, nobody sees me, I want somebody to love me". Then I started getting these "inner voice messages" that said, "you get what you focus on...you are affirming your experience every time you think a thought", so...I started changing the way I was thinking and feeling and focused on being more loving and accepting of myself, honoring my inner and outer beauty and believing I deserve only love...and that's exactly what came to me. Not in just one man, but three...three beautiful souls. Each of them possessed something that I desired in a mate. What I learned from this is that sometimes we can spend so much time looking for ALL the attributes we desire in one mate that we totally miss the gifts of each soul that comes to share something with us. I got spoiled and pampered by one who really loves me...got to laugh and sing and feel like a teenager again with another...and with guy number three I experienced the warmth and intimacy I'd been craving since I left my marriage.
When I gave up my negative thinking and focused on what I wanted it showed up. I give thanks for each of these souls for coming to share my life...and to God for giving me an opportunity to give and receive love in all the unique and beautiful ways it came to me. Whether we are in a relationship or not, we have within us the ability and responsibility to love...when we are giving love there's no room for misery.
One Love, Z