I'm fascinated by love relationships. Why, you may wonder. Well, it's my calling to explore love and relationships. I like exploring what makes them work...and what breaks them down. Because it is my calling to explore intimate relationships, I've gathered a whole lot of experience by being in my share of them. And you know what, I have no regrets because every relationship I had has prepared me for the juicy, succulent one I'm in today. 
Some people don't believe we all have a soulmate, but I do. Only I don't think we have just one soulmate, I think we have many. Most of them aren't even love interests but family, friends, children, even coworkers and "strangers." I've been with a man or two who I believed were my soulmate and we still broke up. Just because a relationship ends, even badly, doesn't mean that person wasn't a soulmate or right for you. For me, a soulmate is simply someone who feels like they belong with me, like our hearts and souls are intimately linked because we have "reunited." To use medical intuitive Caroline Myss's word, someone I call a soulmate feel I feel more "animated" with him; the relationship feels supremely blessed. A word about who's right for us. I believe whoever you choose to love is right for you at the time y'all were together. There's no such thing, in my opinion, of the wrong man. He may have been a nuckleheaded emotional nightmare who lied and cheated on you, and still at the time he graced your life he was right for you. Something in you attracted this one to you, for a reason. Some part of your soul needed to experience something with this individual, for it to evolve. You got to learn something about yourself, about life, about what you want and don't want. About what you will tolerate, what you deserve. You learned something, or were suppose to.
Well, I'm thankful to have attracted a man who I not only love but like. I realized a few relationships ago that no matter how much I love (or think you do) a man, if I don't like him much my patience with his a** will run out faster than the air leaks out of a birthday balloon. Then I'll be wondering what did I see in this fellow. If I start down this path, I'm on the road to losing respect for him. No respect, no love. Then the next thing you know, like Chrisette Michelle sings, I'm done done done.
If you've read my most recent posts, then you know as of late I'm into lists. So, here's a list of things I'm learning about creating and sustaining love that I get to practice (yup, I mean practice) with my beloved:
Some people don't believe we all have a soulmate, but I do. Only I don't think we have just one soulmate, I think we have many. Most of them aren't even love interests but family, friends, children, even coworkers and "strangers." I've been with a man or two who I believed were my soulmate and we still broke up. Just because a relationship ends, even badly, doesn't mean that person wasn't a soulmate or right for you. For me, a soulmate is simply someone who feels like they belong with me, like our hearts and souls are intimately linked because we have "reunited." To use medical intuitive Caroline Myss's word, someone I call a soulmate feel I feel more "animated" with him; the relationship feels supremely blessed. A word about who's right for us. I believe whoever you choose to love is right for you at the time y'all were together. There's no such thing, in my opinion, of the wrong man. He may have been a nuckleheaded emotional nightmare who lied and cheated on you, and still at the time he graced your life he was right for you. Something in you attracted this one to you, for a reason. Some part of your soul needed to experience something with this individual, for it to evolve. You got to learn something about yourself, about life, about what you want and don't want. About what you will tolerate, what you deserve. You learned something, or were suppose to.
Well, I'm thankful to have attracted a man who I not only love but like. I realized a few relationships ago that no matter how much I love (or think you do) a man, if I don't like him much my patience with his a** will run out faster than the air leaks out of a birthday balloon. Then I'll be wondering what did I see in this fellow. If I start down this path, I'm on the road to losing respect for him. No respect, no love. Then the next thing you know, like Chrisette Michelle sings, I'm done done done.
If you've read my most recent posts, then you know as of late I'm into lists. So, here's a list of things I'm learning about creating and sustaining love that I get to practice (yup, I mean practice) with my beloved:
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You must like your beloved as much as you love him (I know I said this already, but it's worth repeating)
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Those who laugh together, stay together...longer and are happier
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Laughter is a balm that mends and heals when nothing else works
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The lovemaking gotta be good...for you both
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Equally yoked means you like and want many of the same things and have similar worldviews
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Men want the same things women want though they may look different--love, respect, intimacy, fun, support...
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If your partner can't talk to you, he'll talk about you to someone else
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To communicate is to give voice to your feelings
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Sharing your feelings may be scary because it makes you feel naked and vulnerable but that's what love demands of us
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And did I mention you gotta like him?
Love is like a plant, if you don't tend to it properly it will wither and die. Start with the basics, like him, listen to him, talk to him, kiss and hug and sex him up. When he hurts your feelings, lovingly tell him what you really feel. Risk being vulnerable. Don't tolerate abuse just know that hurt is behind his angry outburst, shutdowns and shutouts. Forgive, laugh, do dinner and dancing. Love is possible for us when we tend to self and others with a bit of tender loving care.
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