Are you happy? Better still, does joy bubble up from within you for no reason at all except that you are here, alive? Right now, are you experiencing peace? Do you feel blessed? Are you grateful for who you are and what you have?
If you answered no to any one of those questions, why? Twenty-four hours ago I answered no. You see, what had happened was this:
Yesterday was a challenging day for me. No, I didn't get fired. Nor did my house burn down. When I spoke to my daughter after work, she was still doing fine. My friends didn't abandon me. My mother was doing fine when I called to tell her that I'd ordered her Slippery Elm online and even got it $11 less than the health store's price. My health wasn't failing, in fact I'm in excellent health. My weight is back where I like it, just under 135 lbs. My car continues to get me from A to B, without hesitation or complaints. Oh, and nobody cursed or did anything "bad" to me.
Still, yesterday was challenging for me. It was so because of my thoughts and beliefs. You see, I have told myself that if someone loves me they'll do blah, blah, blah. For sure, we all have what someone calls our own "languages of love." These are legit. For me, I feel most loved when me and those I love communicate. Talking is right up there with sex for me. And so, if me and my beloved aren't communicating--not just engaging in small talk but having heartfelt conversations, then I feel disconnected. When I feel disconnected from the man I love doubt can creep in. When doubt shows up, peace and joy go into hiding. For others, touch is their primary language of love. They need physical closeness--handholding, cuddling, lovemaking, massages--to feel loved. Actually, I count myself among them but communication is #1 for me. If me and my peeps ain't having regular heartfelt chats chances are I won't be too open for his touch.
But I digress. I had a challenging day yesterday because I allowed my thoughts and beliefs to funk up my day. Let me get real, my beloved wasn't doing things and behaving the way I wanted him to and I made it mean something. See, we're meaning makers. We attach meaning to the things that happen or don't happen in our lives. Let's say your mother, when you were a little girl, forgot to pick you up from school. Those are the facts. Because we're meaning makers we take raw data, facts, and we attach meaning to them. So, you might have concluded that because mother didn't pick you up she didn't love you. I hope by now though you realize it was you, not your mother, who decided she didn't love you. She just forgot. Remember, it was you who made that meaning up. You could have made it mean something else, like she was overwhelmed or depressed or overbooked or confused about the date you needed to be picked up.
Back to my day, challenging. I wasn't happy because my beloved didn't do some things the way I would have like him to do them. Several days ago. I started to draw conclusions. Those conclusions made me feel like crap. I lost my peace. I was miserable.
Oh but what a difference a day makes! 24 little hours! Nothing or no one outside of me has to do or be any sort of way for me to experience peace and joy. I have decided to LET GO! To let go of the belief that love has to look precisely like the picture in my head for it to really be love. I'm letting go of the myth that somebody out there has got to behave a certain way for me to be happy. If my beloved were to pack up and move to Alaska, the capacity for joy and peace remain with me...because they are in me. Not him.
Today is an easy, breezy day! Why? Because I remember from whence my peace and joy come. It comes from within. Today I don't need ANYONE to show up any sort of way for me to know joy. And let me tell you, I have a peace that surpasses all understanding! Peace is possible when we let go of needing others to be as we think they should be. Gurl, reclaim your peace!
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