Monday, February 14, 2011

Fall Madly in Love...With You: 12 Things


No excuses. I have none for not coming here sooner. What I tell myself, that keeps me from blogging, is "I don't have anything to say." Translation: I'm not willing to be transparent. At the time, I wasn't willing to say what's really on my mind or in my heart.

But even when I don't wish to be transparent, I always have something say. Just ask my daughter or friends. I talk. I talk alot. I always have an opinion...about something!

Well, it's Valentine's Day! Happy Valentine's Day to You! It's the day of love. I feel loved because I love myself. I'm not completely there but I do love myself more then I did last week. Certainly more than I did last year. Like loving anyone, self love requires commitment and courage.

How do I know I'm falling more deeply in love with me? Well, I look at how I treat me today. And how others treat me, that is, what I accept and tolerate from others. These are my best barometers.

Speaking of how people treat each other. You know what really grinds my gears? I'm glad you asked. Actually, it's something that saddens me. I am sadden by how we talk to each other. When I worked with abused and battered women they would often talk about how the black eye and swollen lip would heal. The harsh, toxic words hurled at their self-esteem, however, could last a lifetime. Of course, these women have some say about that. If they'd take Les Brown's advice to "not let another person's opinion of us become our reality" then they would shake those nasty words off and keep it moving.

Self-esteem. When we have a healthy dose of self-esteem we don't permit people to mistreat us. It won't feel right or good to be belittled, berated, criticized, controlled, judged, scapegoated, blamed, cursed, yelled at...unless that's how you treat yourself.

Let's be real, lot's of us abuse and batter ourselves mentally and emotionally. We got old tapes running from childhood. Stuff like, "Who do you think you are?!" And "You'll never amount to anything!" There's also the guilt trips, blaming and shaming that our "caretakers" took care of.

Well, it's Valentine's Day! Celebrate you today. Commit to loving you the way you dream of being loved by another. If you're single now, learning to deeply love you means you'll attract a more loving person. Because we attract not what we say we want, but who we are.

Here's 12 things that will happen when you fall madly in love with YOU:


  • you may have moments of loneliness but not frequently

  • you stop comparing yourself to others

  • you begin to truly enjoy your own company

  • you recover more quickly from dissappointments, losses and betrayals

  • you become more generous

  • you stop criticizing yourself

  • you play and laugh more

  • you stop judging self and others

  • you realize that being single doesn't mean something's wrong with you

  • you get excited about your life and the limitless possibilities

  • you do more of the things that are good for you

  • you take more risks
Go ahead, I dare you. Fall madly in love with you. Why? Because you, more than anyone, deserves your love and attention.

Tune in to Lift Your Voice Radio Talk Show, every Thursday, 3:30 to 4:30 at WOLB 1010 AM.
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